01/17/14 Staying positive is so difficult in this business. I have so many things going for me and am moving forward and feeling progress. But every now and again there is this overwhelming feeling that I am disappointing somebody or letting somebody down or not doing the right thing. For example, having to tell a couple of modeling projects that I am unable to do them because of a larger tv role gig and although giving them as much notice as possible and know that this is the right decision for me, I still feel bad. It is hard to let people down but also I feel I have to make the right move for my career and take opportunities to move things forward in what I am doing. When having to reschedule my piano and voice students; I never want to let them down or disappoint them, but I know I am going to have to reschedule or cancel some if not all this next week due to a tv gig, which the tv gig should be a good thing and an exciting thing. Not to mention, I have auditioned for a particular theatre company twice now with no callbacks. This has been a little hard to swallow. I do not want them to get sick of seeing me with no further movement to make it to their callbacks. I know there are a million reasons that go into making casting decisions, but still it is hard to take. I know deep down I am doing what is right for me, but still feel like I am disappointing someone or making somebody mad. Making the decision to take the tv gig and hopefully help move things forward even more so is a good thing and I guess I need to remember that. After attending a webinar this past week and having this fear of disappointing people, I am beginning to think that the spaghetti method may be on its way out for me. I feel that perhaps I am at the point where now that I am auditioning for better parts, parts and roles I care about more, and not working gigs just for a paycheck, and am thankfully teaching music more and being more involved in that, maybe it is time to tailor what my goals are more specifically. Maybe it is time to set my sights more specifically on what I want and what roles and projects more specifically are right for me and not just throw spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks.
Leave a Reply.