Reality

06/06/11 So reality has set in.  This is the slow period out here in LA.  I wish I would have known about this slow period a little sooner.  Oh well, the reality is that we set out here for me to be able to spend all of my time auditioning and taking classes and completely devoting every minute and ounce into pursuing my dream.  Reality, is that acting classes are expensive and I have not been able to take any due to this.  Also, I am now looking for either a serving job or a part time admin job.  The cost of living adds up and I never want to sacrifice our being able to pay our bills for me taking a class, etc.  It is at times like these I feel the need to reevaluate the choices in wanting to pursue this career.  Is it worth it?  Did we make the right decision?  Am I too old?  Are we giving up enjoying a perfectly normal life to sacrifice and not even be able to go out to enjoy dinner at a restaurant because we have to pay rent?  Would I be actually acting more in another venue, maybe not on such a large stage as being here, but still acting and not just spending time applying for gigs and submitting myself for jobs and auditioning, but actually going through the rehearsal process and singing six out of seven days of the week and performing for an actual audience?  It is such and up and down rollercoaster here.  You can have one audition or meeting and it will go awesomely and then after another you could be about ready to burst into tears.  It is all about having thick skin and not letting things like that bother you, I know.  And I can deal with that sort of thing.  I can even get through having studied acting, dance and voice for the past couple of years being excited about coming to the performing mecca here in LA and being excited to study out here with some of the great teachers only to find out that you cannot afford to take any classes, so for now I just read their books and study what I can online.  Reality.  Life is all about the choices you make.  And I have always been one to advocate for following your dreams.  But when and how do we know what are the correct choices to make?  And at what cost?  It is hard to tell especially in a place like Los Angeles where the perception of reality is so skewed.